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The Evening Hoot Comments Thread

 
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Gyfore



Joined: 28 Jun 2008
Posts: 1267

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:41 am    Post subject: The Evening Hoot Comments Thread Reply with quote

My first and foremost problem with your story is that you never specify what species the characters are; the only hint you give is that they are owls that hoot. How am I supposed to immerse myself in your story if I don't know whether I should be imagining something attractive like Snowies or something disgusting like that one owl from the commercial? Secondly, the pacing is absolutely atrocious as we begin on a romantic and peaceful evening only to be suddenly whisked away in a cyclone of angry passion with no hint of subtlety in the transition. I am similarly enraged at the lack of character development of the turtle, mostly because it is the only interesting character in the story. That's also why I am severely disappointed that the turtle has played such an insignificant part in the plot so far. All other characters are unlikeable and it is maddening that the reader must follow them alone in their quest to overcome their petty "problems." Also, I am appalled at the explicit nature of the story and fail to comprehend how you are not thoroughly disgusted with yourself. This story, if it even deserves to be called that, is nothing better than the self-righteous ramblings of a teenager high on prescription drugs and the internet should be burned just so it can be cleansed of this monstrosity.

Overall, it was a fantastical and brilliant concept and I give it 13/7.
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Kluddy



Joined: 05 Dec 2010
Posts: 123

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 1:49 pm    Post subject: Re: The Evening Hoot Comments Thread Reply with quote

Gyfore wrote:
This story, if it even deserves to be called that, is nothing better than the self-righteous ramblings of a teenager high on prescription drugs


This is frightingly accurate.

Your feedback is of immense value, and I hope you can forgive me replying over a month later. I visit this site in bits of intense euphoria and hasten to release all of it as soon as possible, leading to...stuff such as this. I then return after a great many moon cycles to drink in every drop of nostalgia there is to salvage.
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CommanderEVE
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PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 10:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I did not see this thread before.

Well done Gyfore, the whole critique is well written!
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Optimus Nyra



Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Posts: 7487
Location: The annals of cyberspace.

PostPosted: Sun May 26, 2013 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This story tickled my innards.

Kidney out of five.
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Gyfore



Joined: 28 Jun 2008
Posts: 1267

PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really like the style of chapter 2, the animation is so unique and the turtle's backstory is awesome

H/7

Chapters 3,4, and 5 were pretty short, though. But if you keep up the quality I suppose I shouldn't complain.
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Kluddy



Joined: 05 Dec 2010
Posts: 123

PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 2:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you, Gyfore. Your comments keep my kidney going.
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Optimus Nyra



Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Posts: 7487
Location: The annals of cyberspace.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your story made my best friend kill himself.

So, in his honor, I created this: https://soundcloud.com/neon-the-reaper/evening-hoot-1
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Gyfore



Joined: 28 Jun 2008
Posts: 1267

PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Optimus Nyra wrote:
Your story made my best friend kill himself.

So, in his honor, I created this: https://soundcloud.com/neon-the-reaper/evening-hoot-1
Den outta den.
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